… of course – people tend to only love those who love them. is there anything more ultimately egocentric? it’s crazy how much we have romanticized this word… love … how much we have dressed it up and then fantasized about it. it’s like water… we need it, we desire it, it is a vital life ingredient – because it keeps us healthy and well. it keeps us feeling special… it keeps us feeling valuable. sometimes people who are loved a lot have urges to shed it upon others. just like when you’ve been given lots of money. hmm… maybe love is fueled by egoism… but is in itself, Perfect. now all we have to do is change the fuel, but how? … i guess, as i have mentioned before, it’s just the wrong word. we confuse love and desire all the time. love today really means desire… ephemeral and self-centered.
Love is truly unattainable… for love is God and God is perfect. And only when we are perfect will we be able to love. really love. until that day… we can only and simply Desire. but because we don’t like this reality – we will dress up desire so that it looks like love. we will dream and fantasize.. we will bring back the myth of altruism to a people desperately in need of it. . .
6 responses so far ↓
Lucy // June 17, 2009 at 11:59 pm |
interesting take on love. are you saying that we only love to gain love in return and that we are just shallow beings who want one thing which is to be made to feel good. in this case, love of ones self is necessary before loving another, but to do this you have to gain satisfaction which generally comes through appreciation, admiration, love and respect from others. a little circle. i agree we will never know what godly love is untill we reach the end but there is deffinitely an earthly sense of contentment, hapiness and care that seems to define the love that we feel. contentment being the optimum word. in todays society the world isour oyster and there are so many other things now available and possible and new heights to climb in both life stuggles, work and partners…each one being a different experience. more exciting, more beautiful, more dangerous and it becomes a ladder that never stops untill one addresses waht they really want and find…contentment.
Dominick // June 20, 2009 at 8:03 pm |
Good thoughts, friend. I always find your either/or, black and white views of the world helpful for giving me frameworks to think about life and love and happiness, which is, I guess, part of what you are trying to accomplish.
Zultan // June 22, 2009 at 6:45 pm |
i hope people aren’t getting the impression that i am not a fan of love. i am one of its greatest fans.. i am just trying to understand it.
how and why does it come and go??
why is so dependent on me? – as in i only love what interests me… what does me good. i love my friends – but the reasons i have for loving them are because: they make ME think, they make ME laugh, they make ME happy, they make ME feel good, they give ME energy and life… they love ME. Are these not the reasons we love? the reasons we have ‘best’ friends… the reasons we get married to a beautiful girl who draws us so strongly? it’s always about me! love is so incredibly dependent upon ME.
God is Love. Love is God. the triune God, who is Love – created the world at a certain point in time (whether this was when time began or not is umimportant). what matters is that before there was anything TO love… Love was.
Why am arguing so strongly that love is about me? it’s like i am trying to fight against something. but what? i don’t know. an illusion perhaps. an illusion that hurts people. the best way to overcome pain is by understanding pain..
Believers, i think, have a hard time agreeing with what i am saying. Can they please tell me why?
Believer // August 4, 2009 at 2:03 am |
I contend that love is not all about me. It always involves me, happens to me – sure, but that doesn’t mean it’s only about me (at least not for some).
We should be aware by now of there being several modes of love: friendly love, romantic love, family love, love of certain materials or activities. And certainly all of these loves, for one person, might be entirely selfish – but not for the believer.
I think that believers have a hard time accepting this because they were told to “not only love your friends, as even the heathens do, but love your enemies.”
All humans are driven by desire for certain people, things, and activities. This is a good thing. It composes our uniqueness and helps form groups that will help their members achieve their goals in life – whether family, lover, friend, teammate, study buddy, etc.
The verse I quoted is revolutionary. It accepts that natural desire will lead all to the love of friends, but furthermore makes the preposterous demand that our enemies be loved too. All humans, Christian or not, will form natural relationships out of ‘desire’, but the true believer will love and aid ANYONE.
Let’s not also confuse ‘good emotions’ for love. The people who make ME think, laugh, happy, and so forth give me good feelings; but that doesn’t mean I only love them. It’s definitely a greater challenge to ‘give’ to those who don’t give anything to you, but it’s certainly possible. It’s just less natural because it is against an egocentric worldview. Yes, egocentrism is the natural state of the mind, but believers are taught to renew this. You’re also right, it can never be perfected in this life, but that’s no reason to say it doesn’t exist among us in some form already. Otherwise, how do you explain Mother Teresa?
And I hope no one argues that “loving strangers” is selfish because it gives us a good feeling. Robbing can give a good feeling. So can giving to charity. The fact that something feels good doesn’t mean it’s selfish. If the act is done strictly for the feeling, then sure, it’s selfish. But humans do many things they would rather not be doing. And being altruistic definitely does not ‘return the favour’ with an outpouring of warm feelings. Again, ask Mother Teresa. It’s merely an extra blessing when a good feeling shows up during an altruistic act.
zultan // August 7, 2009 at 9:16 am |
Believer, thank you
lovefromprague // November 27, 2009 at 2:58 pm |
from your comment: the triune God, who is Love – created the world at a certain point in time (whether this was when time began or not is umimportant). what matters is that before there was anything TO love…Love was.
and the trinity loved from before time, and perfectly loved & enjoyed each other. i think there is something to be said for the pure enjoyment that comes with love–just because it feels good, doesn’t mean it’s wrong (although we hear the opposite as teenagers, haha). and if God can enjoy love without being selfish (because he’s God) than maybe there is some part of us that can too.
you can never escape how things feel to you, because you are you. love draws our eyes to look up & outside of ourselves.