It is a boundless complexity so far beyond our capacities to understand that i find myself strongly in line with the apophatic theologians of the early 20th century (A branch of mysticism that emphasizes the fact that God/Truth cannot be known). The wisest man is the one who humbles himself before truth. BEFORE truth, as in ‘not in Truth’ or ‘at truth… but before arrival. I like it in the Bible when ‘Yahweh’ takes on the form of “Truth.” (the first personal pronoun “I” is truth speaking) so God is Truth and fully Other-ness, fully transcendent (his full revelation filtered and reduced for our finiteness)… the secret of mysticism is this, that man will understand everything by the help of what he does not understand (Chesterton). The holes, the gaps, the missing links are perhaps not the problem, but the solution. On the journey for truth: arriving at your destination you will find nothing but a sign that says “LOOK BACK”… you will look back on your steps and there you will find an answer. Truth is in the quest, and the more abstract it seems, the more paradoxical the silver lining… well, the closer you are to understanding the glory of God. He (Truth) is not something to be discovered, but something to be searched. The Greatest Mystery. We will not conquer Truth, we will not conquer God… this is why the idea of mysticism rings so true in my heart. We are silent before truth, we are  silent and still before God.

Therefore – continuing with the initial thought – structure and order are necessary for us ‘extremely animal-like’ creatures. It is true that we need order, it is true that we need structure… or else Leviathan reigns. Often in prophetic writings Order battles against Chaos (Leviathan/Rahab) and crushes its seven heads. The Primordial Battle is not between good and evil, not between right and wrong, but between order and chaos. Maybe this is where truth, the only type we are worthy of putting our infinitesimal mind-hands on, lies – in the creation of order and the best structure for such an order. (Which will adapt… truth will be provisional, derived and therefore continuously open for revision depending on who, what, and when.) So, the church serves this purpose. What does the church know about Truth? look at the hundreds of denominations. You might say that the core is the same, but how little significance does this seem to make? Protestants and Catholics murdered each other for 4 centuries. Yet, the core WAS the same. Most Christians have the same core, but apparently this has very little affect. Unitarians? Pentecostals? Fundamentalists?

The bible is a framework (‘instrument for order’). A good one, but too unclear – hence the interference of church dogma and doctrine… obviously perverted by the ‘corruption of power’ held by the church. i think the church is, as Catholics believed, just as much an instrument of God’s revelation as the Bible. The reformational concept of sola-scritura punched a big hole into the role of the church… creating hundreds of denominations. Splits in the over-arching structure… causing dissention, violence, and grand chaos. Was it for the good? Perhaps, but how many suffered? How many died? And look at the effects of this on Europe today. They hate religion (or worse; complete uninterest) because of its violent oppressive and hypocritical historical fingerprints, making Western Europe one of the most secular/atheistic regions on earth. Something messed up big time.

I have heard pastors say that when they preach to congregations they don’t necessarily say and moralize what they believe to be correct. They are shepherds… and I like this image: it is not the shepherd in this context that leads the sheep. That is not his prerogative, in a sense it is the shepherds primary role to keep them safe and together. Leading them yes, but maybe from behind… does that make sense? What is best for my sheep? What do they need to hear? That is THEE question. What do they need to hear (often this should be challenging, stimulating, and exciting… but controlled) – Not what do I have to tell them, or what is the ‘Truth.’

Schliermacher wanted to remove everything from Christianity that was not central to Christ. Theologically I have an inclination to agree with him, but only theologically. Not on the ecclesial level… the church’s concern is it’s people. It serves them… it is meant for them. That’s why the church is so important. It is that framework, that structure upon which to hang happiness, contentment, morality…etc. it is not there to judge, just as Christ said that he did not come to judge the earth. If only the church could come up with a ‘system’ that removed guilt and judgmentalism that it breeds with such incredible diligence. BUT I think at the same time a church must calculate how honest it is going to be with its congregation. I think anything that gives hope, that brings joy, that encourages cannot be ‘wrong’ whether it is ‘True’ or not. The spirit is fueled by Love, and the mind should be governed by it… this is the fulfillment of the Law. (Romans) It is Not about Truth… it is about Love. And Love will always override Truth.

The most ridiculous thing, that made me laugh, was when he talked about the primitive attitude towards agriculture, using Jesus’ parables on plowing, sowing, and allusions to mustard or fig trees as his evidence. Adding that the analogy between humans to lilies, suggest that thrift, innovation, and family life and so forth are a waste of time. yes… well done, that is exactly what is meant by these teachings.

I believe those who lived through the Second Great War just 70 years ago would have much to tell the people of today. They would pity us and our fairy-tale worlds. Have we forgotten our history? Have we forgotten how we have reached this place of privilege, this place of freedom? Have we forgotten the sacrifices by millions of our very near ancestors?

Wars are fought far from home. Thank God for that. But in the same thankfulness I also wish reality could hit home a bit. If the war was here, on our soil; everything would change. Everything. Those who sit in their comfortable couches drinking diet coke and eating chips in front of a large flat screen TV would quickly comes to grips with actuality. They would stop their ignoble babbling against the military and their pathetic horror when they hear that the ‘enemy’ is being mistreated. Or when they sit comfortably at home appalled at people who dare to suggest that maybe torture should be legal. And call people absolutely crazy for suggesting preemptive nuclear strikes. Upon my head, I swear that all this nonsense will stop the day the first bomb lands within our borders. All this will stop the day we capture someone with information that could have saved hundreds of lives but couldn’t extract it because of our laws, our Media, and our stupid populace who protect the very people who want to hurt and destroy them.

When a car hits a cat or a cute puppy we are disgusted and even scream out in fright. I talked to someone last week who admitted that he is more affected by an animal being mistreated than a human. He was serious. Animal activists and lovers are the result of a complacent self-congratulatory society. Again, a fairy-land. Ideological tolerance is also the result of this kind of world, we don’t realize that all the benefits and freedoms that our western society enjoys are at the cost of incredible conflict, intolerance, and standing up for our beliefs – for our religion – for our democracy – and finally for our Reason. This is the foundation of our empire.

Today, we believe in nothing. We don’t talk about Truth, because people don’t even know how to do it. Everything and everybody is stronger than someone who doesn’t believe in anything (what does it mean to believe in science?). Western society is becoming that. We used to believe in something, and we will again when we wake up. But I fear that this wake-up will be brutal and painful. And we will look back on ourselves with great embarrassment. How can one be proud if one doesn’t believe in anything? Our “God” and our country should inspire the same passion as our favorite football team. But no, the media is a constant feed of negativity. The Media, in general, is an auto-immune disease. It is the message and therefore holds the responsibility of information, which is ultimately everything. It is only in a society that collectively believes in nothing that no one will stand up for anything. Not even its own church, its own army, or its own king. But this is our very heritage. This is why we are free today… this is why men and women are considered equal, this is why blacks and whites are considered the same, this is why there is a freedom of belief and a constant desire to search further into our universe to discover its secrets, this is why there is a general morality, and basic things that just aren’t done in our part of the world. Can we not stand up for this?? Can we not stand up when we see someone harming another human? Can we not speak up against things that we feel are wrong? Can we not be proud of our heritage, in the things our grandparents and great grandparents gave their lives for? What we have is not Free… I feel like this has been thoroughly forgotten… And that is sad.

A few weeks ago the wife of my cousin was also confused as to why someone like myself would be a soldier. She thought it counter-logical to my apparent philosophy. And since the past little while I have consistently met people with similar ideas opposing war. Now to be fair, their reasoning is never consistent. Some think out of logic, others don’t. The latter being by far the majority.

So how do I explain a passion for justice? How do I explain that I am sick of living in a world where good people are afraid of bad people? I am sick of reading and seeing stories of persecution, of rampant injustice with no accountability. Christians say that revenge is for the Lord, I think the Lord works in many ways… not just in the eternal realm (take note of the entire old testament narrative, and also Christ’s Action – his reactive righteous anger  in the temple). Was Hitler a man to have simply thought as many did, “Oh God will have his revenge, just have faith and remain steadfast.” It is shameful when good people do nothing and then hide behind their faith. The Bible stands for Justice, the God of Love hates evil… for that is what defines love. Those who believe should delve deeper into the Old Testament, and begin to read the New in light of the Old. For the New was written in that very way.

If I can save the life of even one good person by accelerating this ‘eternal judgment’ by the Almighty, I will. And I will take the burden of guilt, and whatever judgment I receive from Him. Now the intellectuals of this world will have alarm bells going off just about now. Who am I to determine what is right and wrong and then dare to act upon it? “who do you think you are?” “You have the spirit of a dangerous dictator…” etc. etc. This is absolute nonsense. The day that we can no longer see what is right and wrong will be the day we can no longer sense good and bad, no longer feel love, no longer feel hope, no longer feel peace, and no longer be able to look at nature with a sense of beauty. No longer be able to smile at people laughing uncontrollably. No longer be able gaze upon an old couple holding hands as though they were all that was left in the world, without tenderness and great compassion. No longer be appalled by torture, by discrimination to the point of evil, by men who abuse their wives and their children just because they – these men - are weak and pathetic, sickened by a group of kids who go around insulting women and then kicking them to the ground. Sickened by a genocide, where people are slaughtered with machetes just because of a physical feature. Must I go on? Does humanity not know what is healthy? Does humanity not know what love feels like? Does not humanity hate what is evil? Does not Nature itself hate what is evil? We know when it is wrong, because it hurts inside. Watch a child when something bad happens around him. Watch the spirit of a man break when his world gets taken from him… You don’t need to be God to see and feel pain. You don’t need to be God to stop someone from hurting your family. You don’t need to be God to see the tears of a person crying out in despair – the gift of life stolen from them because of corruption.

A good person aches for the sorrows of others. I believe that if it weren’t for fear, a good person would be the first to pick up arms and defend those in need. This fear tries to find an excuse, for Christianity this is a couple verses taken out of the Bible about vengeance. Even though 75% of the Bible tells a completely different story. For idealists, they completely forget about the state of reality in which we live. We live forward, but understand backwards. (This is a world where ‘me’ always comes before ‘you’… and unless everybody has everything; conflict will forever reign) There will always be evilness in this world, there will always be a drive for power and money. And there will always be exploitation and suffering in order for someone to reach this position. Love simply cannot tolerate evil. And because of this, Love will always stand against evil… to the point where one day, Evil.. will begin to fear and tremble.

These are my simple thoughts.

‘What is Truth’ – the most ancient, enduring, and timeless question of all time. I think the reason for this is quite simple; paradox, or self-contradiction if you like. I think gauging truthfulness to an idea or reality should be proportional to its paradox-like nature. Real truth doesn’t make sense, because within it, finiteness, linearity, cause and effect, and finally “if this, then this” do not have their stage to act upon. So this is a huge topic in itself (especially in theology/philosophy), but I would like to try to apply it to love… in a logical manner  : )

I think Love is PURE Freedom – the only freedom powerful enough to RENOUNCE freedom itself. I am convinced that no other form of freedom can, and must, and has the power to surrender itself.

This synthesizes the truth paradox. It is in love and through love that we are free enough (and I would say FORCED) to want/desire to be bound! But Bound to what? – to Love… at last freedom from I and Me! This is a deranged commitment, which liberates our spirits but chains our hearts. I believe that all of Life is measured and calibrated around this commitment. (The truest of maxims – A joyful person, IS a loving person.)

Love is to chain yourself to that person(s) while at the same time making no conditions upon which that love is sustained, and this is pure freedom. (Why is love in this selfish world so often nothing like this?! lack of trust, lack of security etc. etc.)

((Tangent: if this is the love of God – which every Christian preaches – then how the hell can they even think that this God of love would place conditions(s) upon Salvation; his fellowship, his love!! ‘because the bible says so?? I would, as sensitively as possible, ask this person to turn on their god-given-minds for just a moment; it might be painful, but maybe Truth, Pain and Freedom come as the truest of trinities. Maybe who God is and how He is revealed to us goes deeper than the black and white of several de-contextualized pages; just maybe)).

Not a new idea of course! – ‘Agape’ love perhaps. The unconditional love of our parents and heavenly Father (as some understand it)… but for me this cannot simply be one form of love, it IS love. Real love, real truth, and pure freedom. I suggest that agape love stops being a form of love but becomes the one and only vital component in every species of love.

“The wings beneath our spirits are the chains around our hearts.”

Anyhow he then told me that he believed the three Greatest influences on humanity were the Greeks (for Philosophy), the Romans (for Politics), and Christianity (for the control and abuse of both). In a way, i couldn’t disagree with his synopsis. Fair enough, i thought to myself.

When we think of Reason – the power of the mind to think, understand, and form judgments by a process of logic – the Greeks should immediately come to mind. This process, whether we are willing to admit it or not, is not a fixed absolute methodology. It is logic based on a Greek system of thought. Now the laws of nature are absolute, which means that there should definitely be some universality when it comes to reasoning… but alas, this doesn’t seem to be the case. this is quickly apparent when we try to philosophically reason with people from very different cultures/religions.

Our Western reason requires explanation. I need to know why for everything. And the logic must be comparable to other known realities. But my why is biased… because i already have an idea of what i want to think. So that reason is greatly influenced by… well, let’s say Desire. Ultimately, as much as the Greeks wanted Reason to be a God in itself, WE are still gods over it… and our desire will always reign over Reason. Always. It is no different today. Society is attempting to replace God with Science. But in reality, nothing changes, except names. priests in white robes become scientists in white coats. Society had God before, and God was Good… but human desire was still supreme ruler. Today we have science, and science is also good, but human desire is still supreme ruler. what we desire to be real… Becomes real in its consequence.

now is the cure to this interminable infection the removal of desire (as buddhism suggests)? perhaps… but i hope not. Desire is not all bad… but often desire is inconsiderate, which makes it dangerous as far as societies are concerned. My desire often prevails. So what is my point? – Reason is a myth. it is a socially accepted vehicle for serving humanity’s real Lord and Master, Desire. Like the corrupt Church beforehand.

We need God… We need Love. We need the His Word. We need mysticism and mystery, we need to be enchanted by an all powerful, uncontainable, and indescribable Being. it is the only thing which can over-rule Desire – transform it into Love. it is the only thing powerful enough to make humans think twice about causing pain, destroying, casting insults, starting wars, killing, and most importantly worrying only about themselves. If a Just and Loving being is in the center of the universe, people will stop fearing for themselves. Fear… that which is the opposite of Love. Fear.People are so afraid, and this fear drowns out Love. We are naturally reflective being… we see smiles, we smile. we see laughter, we laugh. we see love, we love. This is our innocence, this is humanity without fear… this is humanity holding a new born baby. I am convinced that even the most evil men and women smile when holding something so innocent, so harmless. There is no reason not to. As usual, and as is always the answer to all things, Love. love is harmless… and therefore ironically the most powerful actuality in the universe.

Reason is the accepted vehicle for reaching Desire. Desire will induce Fear, as immediately Desire begins to compete and worry about other Desires that may overrule it. Every one becomes a potential enemy… everyone becomes potentially harmful. inevitably – on reflective beings – this pervasive Fear has enormous consequences. Everyone receives a default setting of “potentially harmful.” This insidious human infliction is contagious and never stops destroying what Could be. We are all people who can only smile and immediately love a tiny harmless toddler. If only we could all see each other as harmless (as not competing against our desires), we would also smile and love each other without any effort, letting our true default setting be unchanged. letting our true default setting be Free at last. . .

The universe is too big to be contained… the world is too unexplained to be known. how can this simply be. – religion is the byproduct of these notions… of these (universal) feelings and observations. soon we will stop wanting to conquer mystery… that will be the day. to remove limits is to live in an enchanted world again…

Love is truly unattainable… for love is God and God is perfect. And only when we are perfect will we be able to love. really love. until that day… we can only and simply Desire. but because we don’t like this reality – we will dress up desire so that it looks like love. we will dream and fantasize.. we will bring back the myth of altruism to a people desperately in need of it. . .

“God would have us know that we must live as men who manage our lives without him. The God who is with us is the God who forsakes us (Mark 15:34)… Before God and with God we live without God. God lets himself be pushed out of the world onto the cross [Emphasis mine]. He is weak and powerless in the world. And that is precisely the way, the only way, in which he is with us and helps us. Matthew 8:17 makes it quite clear that Christ helps us, not by virtue of his omnipotence, but by virtue of his weakness and suffering.” (Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison.) 

How do you understand this?